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P.S.

I did one of the little quizzes and it said my song is "When I'm Gone..." by 3 Doors Down. When I recall the lyrics, as best as I can, I don't remember it being a very happy song. EEEK!!!!
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Stressed!!!!!

I am so stressed it is not funny. I'm worried about the art history final, how I'm going to make it through this summer. I guess I should take it one step at a time huh? It seems I have forced myself to do that a lot this year. Usually in times past I thought about life in great stretches. Now I have to concentrate on just making it through one day at a time. I don't know if that's bad or good. Well my sister is Toronto right now with her eighth grade class. She'll be back at eight on Friday. And as of right now Mommy dearest is making me come home tonight to it's gonna be so weird not having Katie around. Out of my two siblings she has been the most supportive as of late but she isn't completely wonderful.
*shudders* I am so stressed right now! I hate hate hate it. I need down time which I suppose this is but right now its not proving to be adequate distraction. Although I am talking to Melissa which I love but it would be better if I was doing it face to face. I feel very vulnerable which isn't fun. I'm wondering if my sudden need for attention from people means I'm childish. I don't know. I've never ever been a loner. It's just before hand I could do a lot of alone time no problem. I can still do that at home but then I think of how I'd like to be with you guys...I dunno....I guess I've turned pathetic. oh well. I'll try to buck up and stop being so stressed. I can do it! *says this half-heartedly*
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More of my ramblings....lol

Ok first things first. I have to get this off of my chest. Jessie don't worry. Next year you will have TWO yes two roommates. Krystle and I will be there. I know Krystle is worried about her situation, and I'm not saying she shouldn't be. But I don't think she should count herself out already. She deserves to be here, she's smart and belongs. And I know she's told me no but if it comes down to it I will give her money. And there is no way my mom is dragging me to NC or to a different school. I love you guys, this school, and this city. I'm putting my foot down. She's gotta stop ruling my life. G-d it feels good to say that. *phew* I needed to get that off my chest.
Secondly, it's so freaking hot outside! Oh my! Well this weekend was interesting to be sure. I love the card I gave to my mother for mother's day. On the outside it said something to the affect of, "To my mother on her special day, a message from the stork who brought me..." and on the inside it reads, "Sorry no refunds." I thought that was hysterical. Usually I get her these sweet loving cards but I just couldn't make myself do it. Ya know? She was hurt by it. She was like "Why would I want to refund you? That's mean Sarah." A teeny tiny part of me felt guilty for giving her that card but not really. We went out to eat for dinner which was very nice. And my poor puppy Jasmine has an invisible fence so she was finally getting shocked and it made her cry. :**( and then to make matters worse we had taken off her collar so she ran to the neighbors who have this mean dog. Jasmine only wanted to play. That dog bit her on the head. And not in a playful manner either. At least that dog didn't draw blood.
Oh and you want to hear about my stupid moment?? I was going out the garage to give Jasmine water right? Well I must have been really spacey. I didn't wait for the door to finish going up and it bonked me in the head and I feel on the ground. My head hurt so bad! Of course it was my oh dang fault but still. GAH! It hurt. How sad am I? Wait scratch that I don't want to know....lol. Adios!
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AH! I am going crazy...

I'm updating again because I have been studying art history for the past two hours and it is driving me up a wall. My mind is also wandering in a million different directions and I'm feeling antsy. This is probably because I feel like I have cabin fever because I have been up in my room. *sighs* I need to seriously kick back and do something fun but I know with my mother that would be an utter miracle. Argh. I hate feel exasperated....
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I'm not feeling very original at the moment so this entry is titled,"My Thoughts"

So I got to go to the concert last night which made me very happy. Krystle, Amber, and Allison sounded absolutely wonderful. I'm so proud of you guys!! And I finally got to see the Hemis dance which happifies me. During the performance I got to sit up front and sit with some of the cool kids (since the others were in choir) and I got to eat dinner with them. I want to hear Sarah do sound effects for "Killing Me Softly" now. :-) And Jessie gets props because I know I couldn't work a video camera very well. Chances are if I did it the film would be shaky since my hands aren't all that steady. And having refreshments after the performance was a good thing. MC and I waited for Melissa's ride with her and then we went back to the room where I called my mother, Ashley, and then talked to Krystle. And then we watched the second Harry Potter because we are cool like that. What I don't like about yesterday was the fact that my mother didn't feel it was necessary to tell me whether or not I was allowed to spend the night at Chatham until late. I guess she likes to keep me in suspense.
And here's another puzzling thing for me. I don't know why I am so emotional as of late. Well I have a pretty good idea as to why but anyway. I can't believe how fast this year went. Geez. And I know I'm going to miss everyone so much over the summer. That means you guys will have to give me your e-mail addresses and if I don't have your phone numbers then those as well. :-) I'm also scared because this has become my haven and I won't have this over the summer. Yes I'm going to be working at the zoo but I can't relax there at all. Being a Zoo Camp Counselor keeps me on my toes at all times. I love it though. And I'm also worried because my mother and I just don't get along at all anymore. So that makes things very difficult. As mean as this may sound I just don't love her anymore. I mean part of me still feels because hey she's my mother but she's hurt me too many times for me to feel a deep love. And she has no problem calling me dummy which bothers me.
I wish I was staying at campus tonight as well. *sighs* Well I'm going to end this here before I end up getting too sad.Adios.
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WOOOT!

Ok, so I just talked to my mother who sounded extremely pissy that I would even consider asking her if I could have a fun night as well as asking if I could stay on campus tonight. But the good news is that she said I may stay for the concert (if she changes her mind I will be SO angry). She hasn't yet decided whether or not I will be able to stay on campus tonight. I'm crossing my fingers and praying hard.
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Apparently in the last update I lost my ability to type properly..lol

Ok,so I called my mom mentioned the concert in both of the messages I left her. Who knows what she'll say. I'm really hoping that she will a) let me go to the concert and b) spend the night here.
I also found out that my group members felt that my poster didn't go with the rest of theirs and thus the reason they felt compelled to create a new one. It's fine that they didn't feel it fit. But what they should have done is explained this to me. Preferably while I was spending time making it. Or if they didn't want that they should have told me when I came for the meeting. But oh well it's over and done with. The project is done.
Cross your fingers for me! I wanna stay here tonight!
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Ah my life is freakin' complicated! GAH!

Hanging in the Carriage House was fun after dinner and it felt great to unwind. Then I had to go meet my group for Greening. That's what put me in a horrible mood last night. I get there, our posters are laid out on the table and I looked for mine. Yeah when I had left the day before they did away with what I had spent nearly two hourse working on and made a new one.That really pissed me off. And then last night they were treating me like a small child. And then as is customary with my mother she made me feel small and was talking to me like I was stupid. And I feel like such a horrible person because I took my anger and frustration out on Krystle who absolutely in no way whatsoever. She was only trying to make me feel better. *sighs* Why do I have to have such a horrible temper?
Oh and I had a cell phone scare. Thankfully, as soon as I got back to my room it was there. I would have cried if it hadnt been there. Well today has been extremely bad so far so I'm hoping things will improve.
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Everyone wants to be Jessie's Pippin!!! :-D

Sorry Jessie I couldn't resist. Did I mention I hate allergies?? And sneezing? I went to Convocation. Yay me! I'm sorry but it wasn't too exciting. It also meant that I had to shovel food down my throat in record time because I wasn't about to go to class hungry. Then after class I called my mother a million times..ok not really but it felt like that. And when I finally got her on the phone she wouldn't let me go. But the cool part is Melissa came over and of course my partner in crime Rudy!!!! *grins* Then who returns(from almost being eaten by a gigantic shifty eyed Poodle)? MC. And guess who ended up grating on my nerves?? Same answer as before.
And then at dinner Aleca comes up to me wanting another meeting(I actually don't know if Shelby and Christina will be there as well or if it will just be me and Aleca). Oh well.
And the icing I had dropped on the floor of the cafeteria and tried to get off but couldn't?? Yeah it's still on the floor. Jessie though has been named my hero for the day for her comment about how everyone wants to be her Pippin. *giggles* I am so amused. And after my meeting with Aleca I fully intend to relax because my brain just feels fried. Yay wee fun.